Founded by Toni Bones · Kansas City, MO

PhoenixHaven.

A trauma-informed cooperative housing model for survivors of domestic violence and coercive control — built on one principle that the current system refuses to honor: families should not be separated in the name of safety.

Cooperative Living · Trauma-Informed Care · Mothers & Children Together
A Project of Kill the Precedent · In Development

The current shelter and housing system around domestic violence survival was not designed to actually solve the problem. It was designed to process people — move them through, check the boxes, and send them back out into the same conditions that produced the crisis. The clock runs. The stay ends. The family is fractured. And the cycle continues.

Phoenix Haven is the alternative that should already exist.

The name is not accidental. A phoenix doesn't survive the fire by avoiding it. It survives by being transformed by it. Phoenix Haven is built on the understanding that survivors are not damaged people to be managed — they are people with lived expertise, profound resilience, and the specific knowledge of what it takes to rebuild from nothing.

What Phoenix Haven Is

Phoenix Haven Cooperative Living is a trauma-informed cooperative housing model specifically designed for survivors of domestic violence and coercive control — with an explicit, non-negotiable commitment to keeping mothers and children together throughout the healing process.

It is not a shelter. Shelters are designed for crisis intervention — thirty days, sixty days, out. Phoenix Haven is designed for the transition that comes after crisis: the months and years when a survivor needs stable housing, community, economic rebuilding, and wrap-around support, all at once, in a structure that honors both the mother and the child as whole people with a future — not case numbers with a clock running.

The cooperative model means residents are participants, not clients. They have voice in how the community operates. They build relationships that last beyond any program timeline. They are surrounded by people who understand — not because they read about coercive control, but because they lived through it.

The Six Founding Principles

01
Families Stay Together

No survivor should have to choose between her safety and her children. Phoenix Haven is designed from the ground up to keep mothers and children housed together throughout the healing process — not as an aspiration, but as a structural guarantee.

02
Survivor Knowledge Is Expertise

The people who have lived through coercive control, family court, CPS, and institutional failure are the most qualified people to design the alternatives. Phoenix Haven is built from that knowledge — not in spite of it.

03
Healing Is Not Linear

There is no thirty-day clock. No compliance timeline that ignores the reality of trauma recovery. Phoenix Haven is designed around actual healing timelines — which are longer, messier, and more individual than any program framework currently acknowledges.

04
Community Is Not Optional

Coercive control's primary goal is isolation. The antidote to isolation is community — not professional services, but genuine human connection with people who understand. Phoenix Haven builds that community into its structure, not as a program feature but as its foundation.

05
Economic Agency Is Part of Healing

Economic abuse destroys financial independence deliberately. Rebuilding it is not a secondary concern — it is central to safety. Phoenix Haven incorporates economic empowerment, skill building, and cooperative ownership into its model from day one.

06
Trauma-Informed Means Actually Informed

Not a label on a brochure. Staff trained in coercive control dynamics, TBI, neurodivergence, and the specific ways that institutional contact re-traumatizes survivors. Practices that do not reproduce the patterns of control that survivors are escaping.

How Phoenix Haven Differs From What Exists

The Current System OffersPhoenix Haven Provides
Emergency shelter — 30 to 60 days, then outCooperative housing for the full transition — as long as it takes
Children often separated, placed with relatives or in foster care during crisisMothers and children housed together throughout — non-negotiable
Client/service provider relationship — one-directionalCooperative model — residents have voice, stake, and community
Compliance-based service plans with institutional timelinesHealing-centered support built around individual circumstances
Economic support minimal and temporaryEconomic rebuilding integrated — cooperative ownership, skill development
Staff trained in crisis intervention, not coercive controlStaff with deep training in CC dynamics, TBI, neurodivergence, and trauma
Leaves survivors isolated after program completionBuilds lasting community that exists beyond any program timeline
Designed by institutions, for recipientsDesigned from survivor knowledge, for survivors

Who Phoenix Haven Is For

Survivors of domestic violence and coercive control who are past the immediate crisis phase and navigating the harder, longer work of rebuilding. Mothers who need housing stability, community support, and economic rebuilding simultaneously — which is to say, most survivors, most of the time.

Survivors who are neurodivergent. Survivors with children who have disabilities. Survivors navigating ongoing family court proceedings. Survivors whose trauma histories are complex and whose healing timelines do not fit any existing program framework. The people the current system consistently fails are exactly the people Phoenix Haven is designed for.

What Is Needed to Build It

Funding Partners

Grant funding from sources including HUD, DOJ, HCD, VAWA, Cal OES, and aligned private foundations. Phoenix Haven is actively developing funding applications.

Legal & Structural Expertise

Attorneys and advisors with experience in cooperative housing law, nonprofit structure, and the specific regulatory landscape for residential survivor services.

Clinical Advisors

Trauma-informed mental health professionals, occupational therapists, and TBI specialists who share the philosophy and want to help build the training and care model.

Survivor Advisors

People with lived experience of the shelter and housing system who want to contribute to building something better. Survivor knowledge is not optional — it is the foundation.

Community Partners

Organizations, advocates, and community members who share the vision and can contribute connections, resources, or visibility to help Phoenix Haven move from concept to reality.

People Who Believe In It

Share this page. Tell someone about it. The infrastructure of alternative models starts with the infrastructure of awareness — and that starts with people who understand why this matters talking about it.

Read the Full Story
"I'm Building the Thing Nobody Built for Us" — Miss Bones on Phoenix Haven, where it came from, and why it matters
Read Essay →

Be Part of Building It

Phoenix Haven is in development. If you want to contribute — in any capacity — reach out through the Kill the Precedent podcast page or community channels.

Get in Touch → Kill the Precedent →